Finding my joy again

A few weeks ago, a friend told me I had lost the joy in my voice.  A statement that triggered great personal reflection.

I was not feeling comfortable with the process that was supposed to lead to a creation of a research proposal.  I seemed to be going in circles. Circles that were not productive.  In fact, I was working feverishly, but I was at a point of paralysis and couldn’t even begin my writing. So when I heard “Kelly, you don’t have that joy in your voice anymore.”  I knew I had to take action.

After great critical reflection, I had a discussion with my advisor that maybe I needed a change.  As much as I could appreciate some of his theoretical constructs, I was not feeling comfortable with how our methodologies were not aligned.  I was experiencing a strong dissonance in what I wanted do as my research.  We mutually agreed that perhaps it was best that I seek another advisor.  As stated in the letter to the dean, “This decision was reached productively with mutual agreement and respect.” Phew.

As scary as this was, within two days I had secured the support of a faculty advisor that has taught me two of my Masters courses.  He has experience using the methodology I propose and has even met the authors of the theoretical construct I am basing my research on.  He is aware of my background knowledge, my work ethic and is appreciative of the research I am proposing to embark on.  A win-win situation.

I am no longer paralyzed.  I have started my writing and am very excited to get started officially on my research. But best of all, I’m excited to talk about it again.

I have once again found my joy.

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About Kelly-Ann Power

Windsor-Essex Catholic District School Board Consultant, Assessment & Evaluation View all posts by Kelly-Ann Power

11 responses to “Finding my joy again

  • Zoe Branigan-Pipe (@zbpipe)

    Kelly – thank you for your honest and vulnerable post. It is incredibly brave to admit when change is needed isn’t it? Your story eliminates the idea that we can’t successfully move forward without that realization. I imagine that there are other examples in your life where you have reflected on the same idea in order for your own personal or professional growth. I know your story has triggered a few of my own stories about change and happiness.

    Zoe

  • Terry

    Dear Kelly – great to hear you found your ‘voice’ again. Kudos to you for evincing the courage and adaptability to seek an alternate path; one that also meets with your former thesis advisor’s concurrence and respect. Goodness-of-fit is an ideal we don’t often fully attend to and actualize despite the potential adverse implications when we don’t. With your integrity affirmed and your values aligned – embrace your renewed thesis journey with the zeal, dedication, and joy you are so renowned for.

    Terry

  • Jen Deyenberg

    I wonder…what would happen if all educators and learners found that joy really did matter in education. Perhaps fear of change, perhaps just some critical reflection is needed for everyone…

    Ok that might not make sense to anyone other than 6 people…but your thoughts were talons me right back to Algonquin! Glad to hear the joy is back!

  • AlanaCallan

    Wow – you know yourself better than anyone and have such a deep sense of conviction – one of the (many) things I admire about you… the struggle and tension make your success and sense of joy that much sweeter – well done – looking forward to reading more about your journey!

  • Lisa Neale

    Yeah, Kelly! It does take deep, honest personal reflection to bring forth change and then to move forward having courageous conversations that lead to action. You inspire me and instill hope in me.
    Lisa :-)

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