I was not feeling comfortable with the process that was supposed to lead to a creation of a research proposal. I seemed to be going in circles. Circles that were not productive. In fact, I was working feverishly, but I was at a point of paralysis and couldn’t even begin my writing. So when I heard “Kelly, you don’t have that joy in your voice anymore.” I knew I had to take action.
After great critical reflection, I had a discussion with my advisor that maybe I needed a change. As much as I could appreciate some of his theoretical constructs, I was not feeling comfortable with how our methodologies were not aligned. I was experiencing a strong dissonance in what I wanted do as my research. We mutually agreed that perhaps it was best that I seek another advisor. As stated in the letter to the dean, “This decision was reached productively with mutual agreement and respect.” Phew.
As scary as this was, within two days I had secured the support of a faculty advisor that has taught me two of my Masters courses. He has experience using the methodology I propose and has even met the authors of the theoretical construct I am basing my research on. He is aware of my background knowledge, my work ethic and is appreciative of the research I am proposing to embark on. A win-win situation.
I am no longer paralyzed. I have started my writing and am very excited to get started officially on my research. But best of all, I’m excited to talk about it again.
I have once again found my joy.